Ep. 050 - Sue Bryce: Conquer Limiting Beliefs and Boundaries
What if the key to finding your creative voice is simply asking yourself, “What do I want?”
In this powerful milestone episode of Generator, I sit down with world-renowned photographer, educator, and speaker Sue Bryce to explore the deeper currents of creativity, self-worth, and showing up authentically.
This conversation is about the transformation that happens when you stop hiding and start creating from a place of truth.
Sue has taught thousands how to build thriving businesses, but it’s her guidance on self-value, storytelling, and owning your voice that changed my life. In this raw, honest conversation, we talk about what it really takes to evolve—not just as artists, but as people.
Whether you’re just beginning to speak your truth or trying to refine your message for the world, this episode will light a fire in you.
Key Takeaways:
• “Done is better than perfect” can be a creative game-changer
• How to turn long-form content into powerful short-form learning
• The value of beta testing and curating your voice with intention
• Why self-worth and visibility are inseparable for creatives
• What envy really reveals—and how to use it as a roadmap
• The impact of asking “What do YOU want?” and how it transforms everything
• How to build stronger relationships by understanding emotional wounds
• Creating from joy vs. competition
• Finding identity and direction after burnout
Links & Resources:
Sue Bryce’s Website: https://suebryce.com
Sue’s SPEAK Workshop: https://suebryce.com/speak
Matt Stagliano’s Work: https://stonetreecreative.com
Generator Podcast Website: https://generatorpodcast.com
Full Generator YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9I5qFIHcBrFzp-0zA5AfmNZWH5WyN1Yu
Calls to Action:
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Follow on Social:
Instagram & TikTok: @generatorpodcast
YouTube: @stonetreecreative
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Transcript
Welcome back, friends.
Speaker A:This is episode 50 of Generator.
Speaker A:And if you'd asked me a few years ago if I'd be here behind this mic, putting my voice out into the world 50 episodes later, I'd have said, hell no.
Speaker A:Reason being I was full of fear.
Speaker A:Fear of being seen, fear of being judged.
Speaker A:Fear of what might happen if I actually let people hear the thoughts that were inside my head.
Speaker A:What if they laughed?
Speaker A:What if they didn't like me?
Speaker A:Or worse, what if they made me feel shame because I wasn't good enough?
Speaker A:When you get behind a mic like this, you can't hide behind a camera or hide behind some self deprecating comment to make yourself small.
Speaker A:But somewhere along the way, something shifted.
Speaker A:And a big part of that was finding a place where I felt like I belonged.
Speaker A:That place just happened to be Sue Bryce Education.
Speaker A:It wasn't just the practical photography knowledge that I got from sbe.
Speaker A:And Sue's one of the best in the world at teaching you how to run a successful photography business.
Speaker A:It was how she talked about value.
Speaker A:We talked about value in pricing and products, but more importantly to me was that we talked about the value you place on yourself.
Speaker A:About the stories that we carry, the masks that we wear, the ways we keep ourselves hidden.
Speaker A:Sue taught me how to get better at looking inward, to stop waiting to be ready and just start showing up as I am.
Speaker A:One of her favorite sayings is done is better than perfect, right?
Speaker A:She taught me that you can build a thriving business without selling your soul.
Speaker A:And that success is just as much about self awareness and self love as it is about strategy.
Speaker A:She often says, what do you want?
Speaker A:And I knew I never wanted to be Sue Brice, but I watched her and thought, you know, there's someone who knows exactly who she is, who's lived the hard stuff and.
Speaker A:And she still shows up every day with that passion and generosity and the fire.
Speaker A:And I thought if I could just learn from someone like that, maybe I can do this whole photography thing too.
Speaker A:And here we are, years later.
Speaker A:Photography studio podcast, 50 episodes in.
Speaker A:And today I get to sit down with the person who taught me most of what I know about running businesses like that, but more importantly, who taught me that self worth and creativity are not separate.
Speaker A:Sue's a friend now, which is really wild to say out loud.
Speaker A:And in this conversation, like sue herself, we go deep.
Speaker A:We talk about evolution and visibility and self value and relationships and the kind of honesty that can only come from someone who's walked through it.
Speaker A:This episode is everything I wanted Generator to be heartfelt conversations that feel just natural and real.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And having sue be part of it just made me realize that all those things I wanted so many years ago have all come to fruition.
Speaker A:And I owe more than a small part of that to her guidance.
Speaker A:So thank you for listening, for sticking around, and for making this whole podcast space with me.
Speaker A:And thank you, sue, for helping me become someone who no longer hides.
Speaker A:Let's get into it.
Speaker A:Here's episode 50 of Generator with my friend and mentor and special guest, Sue Brice.
Speaker A:I think you know getting back to what you were saying about the.
Speaker A:The course, right?
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I recorded a 50 module podcasting course.
Speaker A:I hated it.
Speaker A:When I finished it, I was just like, the information's good.
Speaker A:I hated how I delivered it.
Speaker A:I hated how it came.
Speaker B:Okay, so take each video, put each video into AI, ask it to extrapolate the main data points, ask it to categorize all of the information, and you'll have an ebook in a week.
Speaker B:And then after you create that ebook, then.
Speaker B:So what I did with Speak was I taught it in person, which is always the best way for me to experience anything.
Speaker B:And then I went away and I wrote out the modules.
Speaker B:But I wrote out the modules, and because I taught it in person, I instantly just created an ebook called Speak.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:And it's got 70 pages in it.
Speaker B:And then what I did was that is a vertical printable ebook.
Speaker B:And so I took each page out of that ebook and used it as a slide, a vertical slide.
Speaker B:So it's split screen with me talking to the ebook.
Speaker B:So I'm literally walking you through the ebook instead of teaching and then having.
Speaker B:It's too much.
Speaker B:People just are so overwhelmed with content and our distribution needs to be streamlined.
Speaker B:So what happened was I then get the ebook.
Speaker B:I sit down on Sunday, just this Sunday, because I woke up feeling very energized.
Speaker B:And you know what it was?
Speaker B:I've been really down lately.
Speaker B:And I don't get down.
Speaker B:I'm not a down person.
Speaker B:I don't get depressed.
Speaker B:I've never had a depressive episode, but I've been really flat.
Speaker B:I've just been uninspired, disconnected, really flat.
Speaker B:And I got up to walk the dog at 7:00 on Sunday morning and I just stopped walking.
Speaker B:And I just said like I was asking myself a question, what really lights you up?
Speaker B:And my answer was so quick.
Speaker B:It just.
Speaker B:So quick.
Speaker B:I cannot believe that I get to create content in my own home and make money doing what I love as a creative.
Speaker B:So I was like, so why haven't you been putting Speak out there?
Speaker B:And I was like, Cause it just is too much.
Speaker B:It's too big.
Speaker B:It's too.
Speaker B:I attracted a whole lot of people that want to speak in photo, of course, because I am not outside of that just quite yet.
Speaker B:And I mean, I got 80% photo, I got 20% on photo.
Speaker B:If this is the one thing that lights me up, the fact that I get to create an income with my own smarts and my own experience knowledge in my own home, that I never want to leave this house.
Speaker B:And I just was like, what am I doing?
Speaker B:So I went out of shower, put a top on, put some makeup on, And I recorded 22 videos.
Speaker B:20, 22 back to back.
Speaker B:But the thing is, they're between four and 10 minutes long.
Speaker B:The average video is six minutes.
Speaker B:And I was like, you can turn a page in the workbook, watch six to 10 minutes of video, and you're away laughing.
Speaker B:This is what people want.
Speaker B:They want it to be consumable.
Speaker B:So deconstruct the podcast, literally.
Speaker B:Take the videos one by one and just feed them into AI and just say, give me the main points.
Speaker B:What segment would this be called?
Speaker B:And in Speak now I've decided after I've finished 22 videos and a 70 page ebook, and then I use the workbook.
Speaker B:So now they're going to get the course, they're going to download the workbook and print it.
Speaker B:And I am speaking through page by page.
Speaker B:It's so clear and simple and I just cut out all the fluff and.
Speaker B:And then you'll see there are two segments.
Speaker B:Segment, I think video 19 is using keynote.
Speaker B:The one thing I learned from everybody when I got to the actual in person workshop was nobody knew how to use Keynote.
Speaker B:They didn't know how to use it on stage, didn't know how to work with it.
Speaker B:So I added that as a segment and I got Callan to film me on stage showing where the keynote is and how it works.
Speaker B:And then he came to the studio and he filmed the at home studio, like just freehand, like it was just on the DGI and.
Speaker B:And I'm talking mic'd up.
Speaker B:It was so freaking easy.
Speaker B:And I'm gonna launch that in the next two weeks.
Speaker B:So take what you've got and make a product out of it like that.
Speaker A:I love you telling me all of that because it just kind of reinforces why I didn't put it out in the first place, right?
Speaker A:It was just full of fluff.
Speaker A:It didn't sound like it didn't sound like me, right?
Speaker A:I wrote everything and I recorded everything.
Speaker B:Well, technically, Matt, technically, you're like me.
Speaker B:I have a broadcast studio in my house.
Speaker B:You do too.
Speaker B:When I want to record content, I can just go into the next room and record content.
Speaker B:The problem is you didn't beta test it.
Speaker B:You did something most people don't do.
Speaker B:You went straight to the recording.
Speaker B:That's what I've been doing.
Speaker B:And then I watch it and I'm like this.
Speaker B:It's full of fluff I don't like.
Speaker B:And I'm not connected.
Speaker B:It's not authentic because I'm not describing it simply.
Speaker B:There's too much in it.
Speaker B:And then in the delivery of that fluff and too much content, I'm over delivering because I'm obviously trying hard and I can see this.
Speaker B:So that's technically a beta test.
Speaker B:But you just went two steps ahead of everybody else because you have the technical ability to do so.
Speaker B:And just because it's filmed doesn't mean it's dead content.
Speaker B:That content is perfectly alive and well if you put it in.
Speaker B:You can even say to chat, separate the fluff from the facts.
Speaker B:Give me bullet points of the main points of this talk.
Speaker B:Summarize this entire talk with the main points being the most important part.
Speaker B:And then when you look at that, summarize it.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Go segment, end segment.
Speaker B:And if the, the videos, like, let's say there's a one hour video, chop it into 15 minutes.
Speaker B:If you change subjects so you can really hone into one area.
Speaker B:It's the one thing I learned when I'm teaching people how to curate content.
Speaker B:You see, I curate so much content, but I get to beta test it.
Speaker B:I get to do a lot of live events and talks so I really can chop out the fluff.
Speaker B:But if I go straight to video, I'm not beta testing.
Speaker B:So now you've got an amazing product already there, you're just going to reverse engineer it from all that.
Speaker B:Look at your podcast as a brain dump.
Speaker B:And now AI is going to organize the brain dump for you.
Speaker B:The second time you run through it, it's not only in your words.
Speaker B:Like, even the compacted version will be in your words.
Speaker B:It's so easy to speak to.
Speaker B:I didn't even have a keynote.
Speaker B:Like, I would put the workbook up and I would answer three questions, how to take the next step forward, and obviously multiple options and why do I need to.
Speaker B:And when you do that, it's kind of like, okay, here we are.
Speaker B:Now we're going to talk about lights.
Speaker B:You've got three options, you've got multiple options within those three options.
Speaker B:But let me give you three options.
Speaker B:And they're really going to be broken down on cost and technical ability to use.
Speaker B:And they did the same thing with microphones, same thing with cameras.
Speaker B:I just kept it so basic.
Speaker B:And I'm really excited now to watch people connect with that short form content and see what they need next.
Speaker B:Because if anybody says to me, well, I would like to learn more about how you set up that studio, then obviously that's an option to add more content, but the ability for AI to organize in this way, then what I did was I took the workbook after I recorded 22 videos, which are being edited right now, and I did it all on QuickTime, myself and my studio, so there was no production costs.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So, so easy.
Speaker B:It's been so easy to do.
Speaker B:So really, this is my first short form test.
Speaker B:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker B:And now what I'm doing is after filming it all, watching them all, because I did the edit, the bumper, the beginning and end, and out of my first 16 videos, I only had one edit for talking.
Speaker B:I just let it go free form because I had done it so many times.
Speaker B:I just nailed it every single time.
Speaker B:Now I'm going to write an AI for the downloadable book.
Speaker B:Every segment is going to have AI prompts because AI does not write my content, but it does develop it.
Speaker B:And like the fact that I could take your 10 hours of podcasting, whatever you've done, and then make a really cool product from that, just from putting it into AI.
Speaker B:The best part about it is you're about to feed probably 10,000 words or 12,000 words of your words into your AI.
Speaker B:Now you, this now knows your voice.
Speaker B:Like, it knows your voice so beautifully.
Speaker B:The way you speak, the way you write.
Speaker B:It's going to come forward now as you feed in more information, you can say with everything you know about me and speaking in my voice, like, yeah, start loading those videos.
Speaker B:And Craig did it like a year and a half ago.
Speaker B:He loaded 67 videos.
Speaker B:So 67 hours of video of my voice speaking and teaching so that he could have AI speak in my voice.
Speaker B:It's pretty cool.
Speaker A:It's unbelievable what we can do now and how much I use it on a daily basis.
Speaker A:It's funny, I was pulling out all my old stuff from the content curator and personal brand, right?
Speaker A:Because I got stuck, just like you were saying.
Speaker A:I was like, man, I need to make this shorter form, I need to make it just a little bit more interesting to watch, right?
Speaker A:I've already got all the content.
Speaker A:I know what I want to say.
Speaker A:It's just I really need to package it.
Speaker A:And I keep studying and studying and studying what it is that you and a lot of other folks that have kind of perfected the short form content, the four to six minutes, right?
Speaker B:Just the how and the why, all those main points, as is the meat and potatoes.
Speaker B:But I don't want you to read me the main points.
Speaker B:I have them in a book in front of me.
Speaker B:I need to tell me, oh, and why, you know, and right there when I'm looking at a list of things, like, in order to start a podcast, you would need to have five interviews.
Speaker B:And you know, rah, rah, rah.
Speaker B:And I was like, cool, that information is really important and I've got it right there.
Speaker B:But tell me how and tell me why.
Speaker B:And when you think of it like that, it's like, oh, okay.
Speaker B:If you've already got the page and I'm speaking to the workbook.
Speaker B:The biggest mistake I ever made was creating keynotes and not creating downloadable keynotes or workbooks.
Speaker B:With everything that I did.
Speaker B:Now I realize that's what everyone wants, the tangible.
Speaker B:And then when you create that real tangible with no fluff, the whole point is you are the fluff.
Speaker B:You're the how, you're the why, you're the inspiration, you're the empowerment.
Speaker B:So it changes the way you speak now.
Speaker B:And now I'm giving reasons to take these steps.
Speaker B:And I'm also identifying with how it was difficult for me and remember the three things.
Speaker B:Like, this was difficult for me.
Speaker B:Because of this.
Speaker B:I saw other people slay this and they had a lot of self confidence.
Speaker B:And then I saw some people do this, but that didn't work for me.
Speaker B:And that's really it.
Speaker B:Give three options to move forward.
Speaker B:Tell me why I have to do it and tell me how I have to do it and tell me why it's hard for me.
Speaker B:And then once you do those things, that's all people want is the how and the why.
Speaker B:So you've already got all those main points and then you can just speak to it more like a supportive role.
Speaker B:And I also came at every short video, like every time I would do it, I'd be like, weaving a narrative.
Speaker B:How do we do that?
Speaker B:Okay, let's get going.
Speaker B:You've already got your main points.
Speaker B:Now you're gonna weave a narrative through it.
Speaker B:And I was just kind of looking at it more like challenges.
Speaker B:Because 28 days was one of my biggest workshops.
Speaker B:It's at five and a half million in sales.
Speaker B:And to me, that was 28 challenges.
Speaker B:They were short, they were impactful.
Speaker B:Every day was a different challenge.
Speaker B:So I don't know, it's like, it's just the how and the why.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think the how and the why is where I really wanted to dig in, into this conversation.
Speaker A:Not so much on the tangible products.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because anybody can type in Sue Brace on the Internet and come up with all the stuff you've ever done.
Speaker A:But if anyone is like me, who's kind of known you for years, there's been a lot of your own evolution, your own finding, your own how and your own why.
Speaker A:Oh, sure, yeah.
Speaker A:And there's a ton of that that I don't think people really see.
Speaker A:They see the end product.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:They might hear you talking about it at the beginning because you're kind of like a comedian insofar as you test your jokes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You test the writing and then you record the special.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:But everybody should do that.
Speaker A:Yeah, everybody should do it.
Speaker A:It's that beta testing, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So like I was such an overnight success, Right.
Speaker B:Like you think about my creative life being an overnight success.
Speaker B:At the point of my creative life, I had been a photographer for 25 years.
Speaker B:20.
Speaker B:20 years, right?
Speaker B:21 years.
Speaker B:But the overnight success part came from like they got up there and taught that three day workshop.
Speaker B:I had been doing that three day workshop for three years around the world.
Speaker B:I'd been traveling to a sold out workshop and I got to do it in person.
Speaker B:So by the time I got on that stage, I'd been doing that same workshop for three years.
Speaker B:I'd just been doing it in person.
Speaker B:So it was like I had beta tested it and developed it and beta tested it and developed it.
Speaker B:And I think that's what people don't see is the stuff that how you beta test and how you know what connects.
Speaker B:So that's a big one part of.
Speaker A:That whole creation process.
Speaker A:And I battle with it a lot.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So the past six months or so, I've really battled my own ego, I've battled perfectionism, I've battled all these things that I thought I had kind of moved past.
Speaker A:But you know, it all circles around every now and again.
Speaker A:So, yep, I've been in a very kind of flat state as well for about six months.
Speaker A:And it's those moments that I know that big change is coming only because I'm putting The attention into what is it that I want and how do I want to get there?
Speaker A:You've talked about perfectionism in the past.
Speaker A:How do you deal with it now versus how you used to deal with it, let's say 20 years ago?
Speaker B:Perfectionism is born from not good enough.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to be perfect.
Speaker B:It's never going to be perfect.
Speaker B:It really only has to be perfect for my client and perfect for me.
Speaker B:So I don't think I've ever been perfect.
Speaker B:I don't think I've ever been good enough.
Speaker B:So my strive for perfection was definitely much more significant in the beginning of my career.
Speaker B:And now I don't strive for perfection.
Speaker B:I strive for connection.
Speaker B:So perfection is just a waste of time.
Speaker B:I'm never gonna be perfect.
Speaker B:There's always somebody smarter, richer, skinnier, prettier, younger.
Speaker B:Like, whatever you think you compare yourself to, there's somebody that will be way better than you.
Speaker B:So it's like, you can't be a per perfect person.
Speaker B:You can't create a perfect product.
Speaker B:You can't create a perfect business.
Speaker B:You can only create a perfect business for you and for you to be able to share what you do and be able to replenish that and be rewarded for it in equal exchange.
Speaker B:So I let go of perfectionism a long time ago.
Speaker B:Also.
Speaker B:I feel like once you've been smacked down a couple of times, like you've had a couple of fails or something, you get back up, dust yourself off, and it really hurts.
Speaker B:But then you kind of realize, like, I'm just like everybody else, and not that I ever thought I wasn't.
Speaker B:Anyway, so you go out hoping that you're going to have this perfect run at something, but, you know, I just.
Speaker B:You got to let go of it.
Speaker B:Yeah, Good enough is better than perfect.
Speaker A:Done is better than perfect.
Speaker A:And believe me, I say that all the time.
Speaker A:It brings me back to center all the time.
Speaker B:So my sister told me this, and as an artist, this is something.
Speaker B:My sister is a true artist.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:She came to my house one day with a big roll of paper and charcoal because I told her I stopped drawing.
Speaker B:And she was like, you need to draw.
Speaker B:You must create.
Speaker B:And I said, jo, I create.
Speaker B:I'm a photographer.
Speaker B:And she was like, no, you must draw.
Speaker B:So she comes over and she gets this big sheet of paper, pins it to the glass door, and she goes, I need you to draw something.
Speaker B:And I think about it for too long, and she goes, stop thinking about it and draw me something.
Speaker B:And I just Looked at her and I was like, oh.
Speaker B:So I started drawing a figure and it became this piece that is one of the best pieces I've ever drawn in my life.
Speaker B:And I must have spent good 20 minutes on it.
Speaker B:And I was just, like, raking out this charcoal and experiencing it.
Speaker B:And it was very much working lines and messy and intensely emotional.
Speaker B:And I was just starting to see it come to life.
Speaker B:And she turned around and I looked at her and I said, what do you think?
Speaker B:And she said, I think you should stop.
Speaker B:And I was like, but it's not finished.
Speaker B:And she was like, yeah, it is.
Speaker B:And I remembered, like, my mum, when my mum taught me how to retouch photographs, she said, it takes two artists to do a piece of art, one person to create it and the other to tell the first artist to stop when they've done enough.
Speaker B:Now, how is that different than any other form of art?
Speaker B:The same with curating content.
Speaker B:It's never enough.
Speaker B:I have to do more, I have to give more, be more.
Speaker B:You're enough.
Speaker B:You just created something.
Speaker B:It was joyful.
Speaker B:You levitate when you create and it's like you just.
Speaker B:You get a little lost in that.
Speaker B:Curating content is no different than creating art.
Speaker B:Stop.
Speaker B:You've given enough.
Speaker B:You're enough.
Speaker B:This is enough.
Speaker B:And I think with that, you keep going to the more perfectionism, more.
Speaker B:You're just constantly coming from a place of not good enough.
Speaker B:Instead of understanding the creation of it should have been the most amount of joy.
Speaker B:The sharing of it is the next wave of joy that you get.
Speaker B:And then that you gave away your creation and now you're going to get even more.
Speaker B:So I'm like, it's stop.
Speaker B:Stop being not enough and start, like, just start sharing.
Speaker B:And another thing, if you're creating from a place of this is joyful instead of is this good enough?
Speaker B:Then the joy of it starts to attract people.
Speaker B:The creation's energy just attracts people.
Speaker B:And that is something that we don't do as content curators.
Speaker A:One thing that you said a few minutes ago that stuck with me because it's constantly reinforced for me.
Speaker A:It's a subtle shift in language, but it works really, really well.
Speaker A:Is instead of I have to saying I get to, right?
Speaker A:And I heard you say that I get to create the content at home, right?
Speaker A:I get to do what I do for a living.
Speaker A:This is ridiculous.
Speaker A:That I get to build this life and live, you know, what it is that I want to do creatively and people will pay me for it.
Speaker A:That's pretty Damn cool, right?
Speaker B:Okay, Matt, So go back 15 years ago.
Speaker B:I don't know where you were 15 years ago, but could you conceptualize if you've had a job or a career that you could make money at home doing what you love?
Speaker B:I mean, when I look at the big picture of it, the fact that I get to create what I love in my own home and make income from that and get to share that, when I really think about that, and I think about what I felt like living month by month as a young struggling artist, like, will I ever be able to live this way in my life?
Speaker B:Oh, that changes everything.
Speaker B:I have to look at this from a totally different perspective and like, I have this.
Speaker B:What a blessing, what a gift, what a life.
Speaker B:Why am I squandering that by saying that I'm stuck in my content or saying that, you know, it's not working for me?
Speaker B:Then do something different and do it with a different mindset.
Speaker B:But like, wow, when I really break that down, I'm blessed beyond measure and I don't ever want to lose that.
Speaker A:Was there someone that saw your potential in you before you saw it?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:There was this one moment that really freaked me out and I don't know why it happened, but my boss, my very first boss who, you know, he taught me so much in spite of himself.
Speaker B:He taught me a lot about, you know, but he still had his foot on my neck for a little bit of it.
Speaker B:And it was, you know, growing pains and all the rest of it.
Speaker B:And he taught me a lot about what I didn't want to do also and what I did want to become.
Speaker B:But he had a mentor, and his mentor was one of the best at the time photographers in Australia.
Speaker B:And they came to my studio, my garage studio, my little at home garage, like janky little studio.
Speaker B:And they just wanted to see it when I went out on my own and they came to take me to lunch.
Speaker B:And we were just sitting there at this lunch and this guy leans over to me and he says, I see you at being at the forefront of international photography in the next five years.
Speaker B: So it was like: Speaker B:I just like gotten started making money and was really pushing into the studio.
Speaker B:I wasn't in the big space yet.
Speaker B:And he just said it to me and I was like, number one, why would you say international?
Speaker B:I live in New Zealand.
Speaker B:I had no intention of living anywhere else.
Speaker B:It was weird.
Speaker B:It was like he was sort of had a prophetic moment and it stuck with me because when he said it, I remember just thinking, he sees that in man.
Speaker B:I don't see that in me.
Speaker B:And I think afterwards I went away and I started to see maybe that vision for myself.
Speaker B:And I was like, well, maybe I could be in the international space.
Speaker B:And then I started to look out and the photographers that I straightaway saw were Australian and they were wedding photographers, Jerry Gyanis and all those big photographers were blowing up on stages and going to Vegas to wpbi.
Speaker B:And I could see them traveling the world and getting published by Rangefinder magazine in America and stuff like that.
Speaker B:And so that was the first time somebody spoke something out loud to me that wasn't part of my vision.
Speaker B:And it made me go, wait, how do you what?
Speaker B:And I was so truly impacted by that comment.
Speaker B:And he's an incredible man.
Speaker B:And it was a beautiful thing to say.
Speaker B:So it changed my life.
Speaker A:We all need that time to time, that little bit of support from outside someone to just tell us, you know, you've got what it takes.
Speaker A:Just keep with it.
Speaker A:Have faith in yourself, right?
Speaker A:And you'll, you'll get there.
Speaker A:And sometimes, you know, we're like, that's bullshit.
Speaker A:That's never going to happen.
Speaker A:And then when it does, we get to look back and say, well, they planted that little seed subconsciously and here I am.
Speaker A:And so I guess they were.
Speaker A:You've told stories like that over the years.
Speaker A:When you hustle and hustle and hustle for 26, 30 years doing your craft and you're building and you're building and you're building and then you stop, you step back from it all for a little bit.
Speaker A:What did you hear in that silence?
Speaker B:Ooh, everything.
Speaker B:Give up, like you're done.
Speaker B:Life's over.
Speaker B: ,: Speaker B:There was so much going on in the world and there was so much going on in my life.
Speaker B:Like I was menopausal, I was in perimenopause, and I was about to burn my business down.
Speaker B:I actually, I got to a point where I was going to set fire to it.
Speaker B:I was not managing myself at all, and I was not prepared for what was gonna happen during that time.
Speaker B:So I had a really tough time.
Speaker B:And then all of a sudden we were in due diligence and we were selling.
Speaker B:And, you know, I had kind of grieved or had been through this process with my camera a few years over these years, a few years before, because I was definitely coming to the end of My shooting career.
Speaker B:And that was painful and it was not.
Speaker B:I was coming to the end of it because I didn't love it anymore.
Speaker B:I didn't have the joy.
Speaker B:When I touched, my only felt grief.
Speaker B:And the thing is grief.
Speaker B:And I'd say grief, not sadness or anything, it was grief.
Speaker B:I would touch my camera and feel this instant like grief in my stomach, in the pit of my stomach.
Speaker B:I'd lost my joy for shooting after all these years.
Speaker B:And the grief came from not feeling that, you know, when you touch your camera.
Speaker B:I had a hunger.
Speaker B:I had a hunger to build a business in photo.
Speaker B:I had a hunger to be a better photographer.
Speaker B:I had a hunger to master my craft and.
Speaker B:And that was suddenly gone and it left me bereft and it felt like grief and I hated it.
Speaker B:And then I guess in my personal life I had to do a lot of work on, you know, getting through menopause and which I did.
Speaker B:And it was fine.
Speaker B:And it was just a tough four years to be at the helm of a really big business in a really high stress time.
Speaker B:And so then I think I had this horrible two years where I was like, I would have told you, there's no identity crisis.
Speaker B:I don't even see myself as a photographer.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:All this stuff.
Speaker B:And then now at the end of it, in hindsight where I'm back, I'm just like, wow, what a crazy time to be hit and just really disrupt my life.
Speaker B:And really came down to.
Speaker B:I realized something.
Speaker B:My identity was not tied into being a photographer.
Speaker B:It was tied into being a business owner and an educator and the head of this business and the boss of all these people and the leader to this community.
Speaker B:And I had so much like stress around carrying the load of all of those things that the weight of it coming off me was a blessing.
Speaker B:But then all of a sudden, couple of years later that I sunk into it, I just realized that I don't think my identity was really around photography at all.
Speaker B:I love being a photographer and I've started to reconnect my camera with joy again so I can tell stories with it.
Speaker B:And video, video is calling me way more than stills are now.
Speaker B:And video is the form that we want to create in now anyway, so my identity shifted, but it was about holding the responsibility of all the stuff that I was holding.
Speaker B:And it was about who am I?
Speaker B:Who am I?
Speaker B:As a.
Speaker B:Like, I overcorrected into a lot of masculine energy, which you do when you have to like, ah, hold all this up.
Speaker B:And I just didn't even Know who I was as a human.
Speaker B:I had to reconnect to all my friendships because it turns out when you give your business 15 years, 15 hours a day, you actually lose some people.
Speaker B:Oh, that hurt.
Speaker B:I had to actually, to every single person in my life, just reach out and give them love and reconnect to all my friendships.
Speaker B:And I lost some.
Speaker B:I really lost some friends.
Speaker B:They just didn't come back and I didn't nurture them.
Speaker B:So that killed me.
Speaker B:That hurt.
Speaker B:I reached out to every one of my family, my nieces, my nephews, you know, all of them, my siblings.
Speaker B:And really reconnected from here.
Speaker B:And, you know, just.
Speaker B:I'm most proud of my marriage.
Speaker B:I don't have children, so I don't have kids to be proud of, but I'm really proud that I have a relationship that I work on.
Speaker B:I love that I live in a home with someone and live in a world with someone I really love.
Speaker B:But, yeah, identity, identity, identity.
Speaker B:Who am I and what have I got?
Speaker B:Do you believe that something that, like, weighs on you, but it does.
Speaker B:And then I just had to come back to being a creator.
Speaker B:And what am I when I'm joyfully creating?
Speaker B:Ah, here's something that really got me was I'm so used to creating things that people need.
Speaker B:I stopped asking myself if I even want to create them or if I even like doing it.
Speaker B:I got so used to filling the demand of my community, my audience, I would force myself to curate content for them because they asked for it, not because I wanted to or connected to it.
Speaker B:So, yeah, I mean, there's a lot to unpack in there.
Speaker A:There is a lot in there.
Speaker A:And, you know, I can go in a hundred different directions with that.
Speaker A:I think one of the things, the threads that I've seen with you over the years, this connection to self, self worth, self value.
Speaker A:And I've watched you go in and out of it with yourself.
Speaker A:After going through all of that and all of that kind of inner turmoil over the past, let's say, four or five years, what does your self worth look like on a good day?
Speaker A:Meaning what are the things that you're doing on that good day where you look around and be like, yeah, you know what?
Speaker A:I did.
Speaker A:I figured it out.
Speaker A:For now anyway.
Speaker A:Like, I figured it out.
Speaker A:And if I maintain this, everything stays on track.
Speaker B:All right?
Speaker B:So I've done a lot of work on loving myself in the last 20 years especially, and I truly love and accept who I am for all of my faults and blunders on a Good day for me is creating.
Speaker B:I want to get lost in creation.
Speaker B:I want to be in creation energy always.
Speaker B:You know, creation is the opposite to competition.
Speaker B:It's that simple.
Speaker B:Creation is the opposite to competition.
Speaker B:If I'm in competition, I'm in comparison and I'm competing for something that's already created.
Speaker B:And I'm looking what other people are creating instead of being a creator.
Speaker B:And the creation energy, the ability to create anything and be in the zone of creation, is so formless in terms of how I look.
Speaker B:In fact, those would be the days where I don't even need to brush my hair.
Speaker B:Like I can get up and create all day and all night and be lost in the creation of something without having a physical body.
Speaker B:Cause I maybe stopped when I needed to feed myself or drink water.
Speaker B:But that kind of energy for me is that's everything.
Speaker B:Everything, perfection.
Speaker B:Now if I woke up in the morning and I started to hate my body and fixate and focus on what I don't like about myself, I could spend the whole day in a loop of self hate.
Speaker B:But I would not get any creation done because it would be impossible to create in that state.
Speaker B:So why do we choose to go into these states instead of creating?
Speaker B:And I would throw in that.
Speaker B:That's avoidance.
Speaker B:Sure, you're going to focus on something you don't want to focus on that won't bring you to a result or change anything.
Speaker B:It won't do anything but make you feel bad.
Speaker B:So that kind of looping is addictive.
Speaker B:It's addictive self hate.
Speaker B:And we get into self hate when we don't accept our situation.
Speaker B:And when you don't accept your situation, you won't change it.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So you'll start hating it.
Speaker B:That's just avoidance behavior.
Speaker B:I know that if I'm stuck in competition in any way, shape or form, I'm avoiding something.
Speaker B:And creation is the complete opposite energy to that.
Speaker B:So gosh, is that even about self worth?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:But the lack of self worth can keep you out of the creator's room and keeping you in a loop in your mind instead of going and connecting to the creation of it.
Speaker B:And if you're creating with comparison, again, you're not creating.
Speaker B:So just say it.
Speaker B:Say I'm in competition.
Speaker B:Why am I in competition?
Speaker B:Why am I looking to everybody else and what they're creating to see what I should create instead of what actually lights me up?
Speaker B:And I guarantee you're not walking the walk.
Speaker B:And you might be talking the talk, but you're not walking the walk.
Speaker B:You're not doing the thing that you said you were gonna do, and that's why you avoid it.
Speaker B:Or you're just scared of the thing you're going to do because you're still in comparison.
Speaker B:So you're scared of being rejected, which is still comparison, which is still competition.
Speaker B:So the only way to get to creation energy is to get out of competition.
Speaker B:And if I'm in competition, I'm not loving myself.
Speaker B:I'm reflecting everybody else winning around me, and I'm working from envy or resentment.
Speaker B:Like, that's not creation.
Speaker B:Creation is timeless, boundless.
Speaker B:It has the kind of energy that actually feeds you.
Speaker B:You don't need to eat when you're creating.
Speaker B:It's the weirdest thing.
Speaker B:I've never forgotten to eat.
Speaker B:I forgot to pick up my mum once.
Speaker B:But when people say, like, I forgot to eat, I'm like, oh, did you?
Speaker B:Okay, I remember that I get three meals a day, sometimes five, and I don't forget to eat.
Speaker B:But when I create, eating is secondary.
Speaker B:And that's the reason I know that that energy is so powerful.
Speaker B:Because if it can beat eating.
Speaker B:For me, eating is definitely one of my favorite things to do.
Speaker B:If it can do that, if it can take away my hunger, I am in a zone, zone of creation.
Speaker B:And that is beautiful, powerful, and it brings you more of you, the real you.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:It's true.
Speaker A:Yeah, no, I.
Speaker A:I agree with all of that.
Speaker A:I'd lie if I said I didn't at points, fall into this competition, right?
Speaker A:And you look around and you realize that just the act of looking at it like I'm competing with someone puts you in this negative energy.
Speaker A:And that love of the creation just goes right away.
Speaker A:And now you're just.
Speaker A:You're hating what you're doing.
Speaker A:When you could have just started differently and said, I want to create this, I get to create this.
Speaker A:And it takes on a whole different meaning.
Speaker A:There's so many people out there that start at the.
Speaker A:What are they doing?
Speaker A:Because I need to emulate that for success.
Speaker A:But what.
Speaker B:So you can do that?
Speaker B:You can do that.
Speaker B:You can emulate.
Speaker B:You're supposed to emulate when you start.
Speaker B:Like, I just put this in the Speak workshop.
Speaker B:There's a.
Speaker B:There's a philosophy in Japanese karate called your hearty.
Speaker B:And when you break it down, the shoe is find a master and replicate the master.
Speaker B:Like, do it without question.
Speaker B:Do what the master tells you.
Speaker B:Just do it.
Speaker B:And that is about honoring tradition, honoring the master.
Speaker B:And it's about learning the repetition of Whatever you're learning.
Speaker B:And then the heart is to basically start to walk away from the master.
Speaker B:So what you do is once you've mastered, you've honored your master in repetition, you start to find your own way through.
Speaker B:And once you start to find your own way through, you find your own way of doing things, of creating things.
Speaker B:And then the har is to become the new master.
Speaker B:And then your master honors you because you superseded them.
Speaker B:You became more than them.
Speaker B:So we are supposed to con.
Speaker B:Our brain is designed to contrast and compare everything.
Speaker B:You're going to contrast and compare her, him, their body, their money, their success, how much attention they're going to get.
Speaker B:And you're going to feel envy.
Speaker B:Envy is a call to action because it means you want what they've got.
Speaker B:Instead of getting dark about that envy, go and write down everything you envy about them.
Speaker B:What do they have that you want?
Speaker B:And this is something that I did right in the beginning.
Speaker B:And then I realized I'm envying this woman.
Speaker B:I don't know her.
Speaker B:I don't know anything about her.
Speaker B:I even don't like that she gets so much attention online.
Speaker B:It makes me uncomfortable because I don't think she deserves it.
Speaker B:That is coming from me.
Speaker B:So I wrote down everything that I thought she had.
Speaker B:A book deal, an agent, a big audience, a following, abundant income, lots of attention.
Speaker B:I wrote down everything I saw that day.
Speaker B:Everything that was yucky inside me, I wrote it down.
Speaker B:And I'm big enough to own that.
Speaker B:If you're not big enough to own your envy, then you're not even aware that this is what you want.
Speaker B:And it was weird.
Speaker B:Cause it sat really weird for me, this uncomfortableness that this woman was making me so uncomfortable on stage and that I was being really disrespectful to her.
Speaker B:And then I was like, I'm being disrespectful.
Speaker B:And then I was like, ugh.
Speaker B:I went away and I just wrote it down.
Speaker B:And once I wrote it down, I put my hands on my hips and I was like, really?
Speaker B:You want all of that?
Speaker B:Turns out I did.
Speaker B: And that was: Speaker B:I was getting all of that, but she had more, and I wanted it.
Speaker B:And that was it.
Speaker B:I went and.
Speaker B:And wrote it down.
Speaker B:And then I went, truly, you were disrespecting that woman because you want what she's got.
Speaker B:And I went, yeah.
Speaker B:So I apologized to her energetically, and because it wasn't about her, it was about me.
Speaker A:Never is.
Speaker B:And I went and did everything on that list because that's what I wanted.
Speaker B:So there you go.
Speaker B:If you're feeling blocked and stuck, you're stuck in your own mind.
Speaker B:And it's because you're comparing yourself.
Speaker B:Well, compare yourself when you build a brand, but then become your own master.
Speaker B:Replicate your master when you're learning, and then own your path forward and become your own master.
Speaker B:And then compare yourself when it's time to put yourself out there and sell, but not when you curate the content that goes with it.
Speaker B:And compare yourself when you're building that brand for the first time and you're really trying to work out who your identity is.
Speaker B:Definitely emulate and compare yourself.
Speaker B:But once you find out who you are, you can't, you know, emulate anymore.
Speaker B:And emulate.
Speaker B:Don't copy and paste.
Speaker A:There's no blues guitarist out there that has never stolen a B.B.
Speaker A:king lick, right?
Speaker A:Because you're emulating that.
Speaker A:As you get better, then you develop your own voice, right?
Speaker A:And it comes down to that.
Speaker A:What's your why?
Speaker A:What is it that you want?
Speaker A:What's your why?
Speaker A:How are you going to bring that?
Speaker A:Not take what sue does and replicate that and then pretend that you have your own voice?
Speaker A:You don't.
Speaker A:It's another voice.
Speaker B:But you do also, in the sense.
Speaker B:So the thing about teaching speak is a lot of the speakers that come to this workshop are photographers that have been taught by me and they want to speak in their field.
Speaker B:And they'll stand up in front of me and they'll say, I can't say this because this is yours.
Speaker B:And I was like, ah, interesting.
Speaker B:Well, let's break that down.
Speaker B:I taught you a sales system, but you didn't do it exactly the way I taught you.
Speaker B:You walked through that a different way.
Speaker B:You had different challenges.
Speaker B:You had a different base of money.
Speaker B:You had a different fear of money.
Speaker B:You can acknowledge me as the master.
Speaker B:Like when I first set up my sales system, Sue Bryce actually taught me my first system.
Speaker B:And this is how I made it work in my business.
Speaker B:This is how I walked the path to income.
Speaker B:This is how I broke through sales.
Speaker B:This is how I broke through money mindset.
Speaker B:I came from a different mindse.
Speaker B:I came from a wealthy family that abused and manipulated with money.
Speaker B:So you have a different way of walking the path.
Speaker B:You can still honor me as the foundation of if I taught you that.
Speaker B:But ultimately, the way you walked that path was completely different to mine, and that's yours.
Speaker B:So you have to, yes, you emulate and you learn, but then you work out that you actually walked a very different path than I did.
Speaker B:And if you and I were both sitting on the same stage, half the audience would agree with the way you did it, and the other half might agree with the way I did it.
Speaker B:And that's the whole unique part about having our own voice, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And the entire Internet will tell us we're both wrong.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because they know better.
Speaker B:Because they know better.
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:Here's a litmus test.
Speaker B:If you are good with comparison and competition, this is the litmus test.
Speaker B:Can you clap for other people who are doing what you want to do and mean it?
Speaker A:And mean it.
Speaker B:Clap for them.
Speaker B:Like, truly clap for them and be.
Speaker B:And support them and say congratulate.
Speaker B:Because if you can't, that's your ego.
Speaker B:And your ego's just saying, I don't feel comfortable about watching them shine because that means I'm not shining and I want to shine.
Speaker B:And when you feel that.
Speaker B:When you feel that ego.
Speaker B:And I test myself, you know, I follow some people, and they're getting big props, and if it triggers me, I'm like, why does this trigger me?
Speaker B:They're getting a lot of props and attention.
Speaker B:And so I definitely am so aware of it because I don't want that energy in my body.
Speaker B:Also, I wanna know if they're doing something that I want and it's triggering me, shouldn't I go and do that?
Speaker B:Shouldn't I go and start doing what's triggering me?
Speaker B:Shouldn't I go and follow the one thing that is annoying me about them?
Speaker B:Because if it's annoying me about them, I definitely want it.
Speaker B:So I was like, ooh.
Speaker B:And as somebody who is a leader in their industry or has a community or an audience, I've seen people do this to me so many times.
Speaker B:Like, people come up to me and would say, in the beginning, they would say this.
Speaker B:And it really freaked me out at first.
Speaker B:And they're like, so when I first found you, I hated you.
Speaker B:And I'd be like, oh, I'll go on.
Speaker B:And they'd be like, yeah, I couldn't watch you.
Speaker B:This one woman just said, like, you would start speaking, and I'd be like, yuck.
Speaker B:And I just get you off my screen.
Speaker B:And she was like.
Speaker B:And then, like, five years later, this video pops up, and you just said something.
Speaker B:And in the video, I was like, oh.
Speaker B:And I followed that video, and since I've been obsessed with you, and I'd be like, okay.
Speaker B:But then I just learned what they're saying is I was blocked, and I'm just like you.
Speaker B:And I felt Your energy.
Speaker B:And I repelled it.
Speaker B:And I was envious by it because I wanted what you had.
Speaker B:And as I started to hear it from the other side, I was like, I do that.
Speaker B:I'm going to do that.
Speaker B:So I started to follow my voice of envy.
Speaker B:And I also, envy is such a horrible emotion or.
Speaker B:And people want to deny it and act like they don't have it.
Speaker B:And that must make you really special if you don't get any envy.
Speaker B:And very like.
Speaker B:But I did have some envy.
Speaker B:And I'm okay with that because guess what?
Speaker B:That means I have an ego.
Speaker B:And my ego wants something.
Speaker B:So I was like, oh.
Speaker B:Once I learned that I could create from my ego.
Speaker B:And also when you create, when you acknowledge that you want what they have, it's not ego anymore.
Speaker B:Now it's a goal list.
Speaker B:So I can start walking towards it.
Speaker A:That little bit of self awareness really can be just a huge game changer.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Whenever you're feeling that weird, as Terry calls it, the switchiness.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Whenever it's kind of swidgy feeling, I.
Speaker A:And you said this to me as well.
Speaker A:Just look inside because it's about you.
Speaker A:It's not about them.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So always pointing back, why?
Speaker A:Why do I feel this way?
Speaker A:Why am I doing this?
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Why do I get weird whenever I see this person's face?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I don't know them.
Speaker A:They never did anything to me.
Speaker A:Why do I feel this way?
Speaker A:And it always comes.
Speaker B:I have to tell you this, Matt.
Speaker B:I literally did this last year.
Speaker B:I told the story about that envy story.
Speaker B:And then I thought about the woman that I envied.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And that was what, 12, 13 years ago?
Speaker B:So I don't know why I just went to her account on Instagram to see where she's at, because I was like, I really targeted her.
Speaker B:It was definitely her.
Speaker B:I go to her Instagram and she's doing great.
Speaker B:She's got a new book out.
Speaker B:She's got more followers.
Speaker B:She's.
Speaker B:She's absolutely killing it.
Speaker B:She's putting reels out.
Speaker B:You know, two or three times a week I look at her account and instantly go, nope.
Speaker B:And it.
Speaker B:I don't know if it's envy or what it is still.
Speaker B:But I'm going to go back and have a look because now that I've said it to you out loud, I have to go back.
Speaker B:Why can't I follow?
Speaker B:This woman still triggers me.
Speaker A:We all have to.
Speaker B:A little touch of ceiling.
Speaker B:I just get a little trigger when I see it.
Speaker B:And I'm like, no.
Speaker B:So There must be a new envy list there that I have to go and write.
Speaker A:When was the last time that you started something new?
Speaker A:When were you.
Speaker A:Were.
Speaker A:When were you a beginner?
Speaker A:When was the last time you were a beginner at something and did all this weirdness, like, cycle through again and did you start, like, battling ego as you learned the new thing, or were you at a place where you could approach it a bit more rationally?
Speaker B:I hate not being good at something.
Speaker A:Yeah, me too.
Speaker B:Like, when I start something, I like to have natural ability.
Speaker B:Like, I'm one of the.
Speaker B:Even a game like, oh, she can play or she can catch a ball or she can hit a ball, you know, I like to have some natural ability.
Speaker B:But, yeah, I start things all the time and I'm just like.
Speaker B:It's really weird when you go into a room full of beginners, you know, and you're a beginner too, and.
Speaker B:Yeah, I don't like it.
Speaker B:I don't like anything about it.
Speaker B:I hate not being good at things, and it made me realize how much validation I get when I'm good at things, and I hate being a beginner at anything.
Speaker B:But I also am one of those people that I'm a little bit of a obsessive focus, right?
Speaker B:So when I like something and I'm a beginner, I'm not gonna be a beginner for long because my desire to consume it and work it and do it will be extreme.
Speaker B:Usually extreme.
Speaker B:I'm pretty.
Speaker B:I'm pretty extreme like that.
Speaker B:So, you know.
Speaker A:But yes, that.
Speaker A:That being extreme, that.
Speaker A:That obsession with, you know, wanting to be better.
Speaker A:Not to the point of, you know, kind of self loathing, but, like, you want to be better at something.
Speaker A:I'm this.
Speaker A:I'm built the same way.
Speaker A:When I want to learn something AI, I'm gonna suddenly, in the span of six weeks, become basically an AI engineer, right?
Speaker A:I'm just gonna dive into it, do everything, let the dopamine swim around in my head, and then suddenly I'm like, okay, I'm good with that.
Speaker A:What's next?
Speaker A:And it's that weird sense at the beginning, like, I need to know how to do this and I need to be good at it because someone might ask, and I want to have the answer, right?
Speaker A:So it's a weird place that it comes from for me.
Speaker A:For you.
Speaker A:How did that work its way into the speak workshop?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Because starting to speak on stage is something new for a lot of people, and everybody's a beginner, right?
Speaker A:I don't care if You've been a toastmasters or you're a debate club in college.
Speaker A:Like, it's different for everybody when staring out at 500, a thousand people, right?
Speaker A:Way different.
Speaker A:10 people at a comedy club, it doesn't matter.
Speaker A:I think, yes, I wanted to hear your experience with Speak, how it's been developing.
Speaker A:I've talked to some of the students that were there and they've had nothing but incredible things to say.
Speaker A:And I'm seeing them do the thing.
Speaker A:I'm seeing them get out there and do the thing.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:So anybody can go out on the stage, right?
Speaker B:Anybody can get invited onto a stage, but can you get invited back is a big thing.
Speaker B:But here's the thing.
Speaker B:The first talk I ever did was for four hours and it was a presentation to 25 people in a room.
Speaker B:And I was petrified.
Speaker B:All the things, you know, like just absolutely sweating, couldn't eat, vomiting, diarrhea, all of it, just my body was shutting down out of fear.
Speaker B:And then about from that talk, it was really brilliant to be able to talk for that long time and have breaks and stuff and really interact with a small group of people, because when you first start, 25 people is paralyzing.
Speaker B:Then from that talk, they booked me for the national conference, which was 350 people, and I walked out on that stage before the people were coming into the room.
Speaker B:Because I knew if I walked onto that stage when there were 350 people there, I was probably going to lose, like, lose my mind.
Speaker B:So I thought if I just go out there and get familiar with the front row.
Speaker B:And I went and kind of walked along the front row and hi, I'm Super Ice.
Speaker B:And I kind of tried to take the fear away.
Speaker B:How I felt walking onto that stage with 350 was no different than how I felt that first time with 25.
Speaker B:Then when I did 3,000 in a row, it felt no different than the first time I stood up on stage in front of 25 people.
Speaker B:And then 350 people and then 3,000, and then I've had 12,000 people on a broadcast and I can't see one of them.
Speaker B:I'm just seeing cameras and I can see the number in the chat and that's 12,000 people are watching me.
Speaker B:And I think your audience just starts to grow.
Speaker B:And you never feel more scared walking onto a stage with 1,000 people than you do with 10 people in a room.
Speaker B:So it makes you realize that when you talk to 10, 25 people in a room, you're just having a conversation you're seeing the feedback.
Speaker B:You know, it's very direct.
Speaker B:You're seeing them take notes and you're seeing their body language, right?
Speaker B:If people are quiet, they're not moving, they're not snacking and they're leaning forward and they're writing notes, it's no different than a personal conversation.
Speaker B:They're just fully engaged with you.
Speaker B:So when I think back, I think I had stage terror for the first maybe two years.
Speaker B:And the terror is not what you think.
Speaker B:The terror is your brain going to all of the horrible stuff you hold onto about yourself and going, you're too old, you're too fat, you're not smart enough.
Speaker B:Everyone's going to reject you.
Speaker B:It's just a rejection loop, okay?
Speaker B:And then you realize in that moment that your fear of rejection is so big and so great that it will stop you from doing these things, and it's not.
Speaker B:I had the same fear walking into all those situations in that first two years.
Speaker B:Now I don't have fear.
Speaker B:I don't have the loop of rejection.
Speaker B:I don't have, you know, the fear of not being good enough.
Speaker B:Because I've practiced my content, and I know my content, and I know I'm going to get up there and give the most amount of content I can.
Speaker B:But I'm also understand that there'll be some people in the room that won't get me and won't get my content.
Speaker B:And I'm completely okay with that as well, because I'm not there to make everybody like me.
Speaker B:I'm there to serve this audience.
Speaker B:And I think once you switch into that, it comes from a different energy.
Speaker B:Still feel all the adrenaline.
Speaker B:It just.
Speaker B:And I still feel fear of, whoa, this is big.
Speaker B:And I'm about to do this.
Speaker B:I mean, I felt like that WPPI and there's only 200 people in the room.
Speaker B:Like, it's not a lot of people, but the same, like, adrenaline pops up, and then you just shifted your mindset around it.
Speaker B:So I don't know how you.
Speaker B:You don't.
Speaker B:You don't get over it.
Speaker B:You just learn how to channel the energy and you shift the record that's playing in your head that says horrible things about you.
Speaker B:Instead of saying things like my physical appearance not being good enough, I started to say things like, set an intention.
Speaker B:I want to free somebody today.
Speaker B:I want to free somebody financially today.
Speaker B:I want to change somebody's life today just with my words and my path forward.
Speaker B:And I want to give people the tools and the skills to change their own life.
Speaker B:And I want to make somebody rich today in their soul.
Speaker B:And I want to educate and empower, and I want to engage all of these people, and I want to help.
Speaker B:So all of a sudden, my narrative in my head went from, you're old, you're fat, you're uneducated to this is what I desire.
Speaker B:This is my intention.
Speaker B:And then my intention, it becomes really palpable because all of a sudden, it's just infused in everything you're doing.
Speaker B:And I'm not getting on that stage for validation.
Speaker B:I'm getting on that to give something, and that's something really different.
Speaker B:Somebody big in our industry, really big in our industry, said to me one day, how do you come down after being on that stage?
Speaker B:And I looked at them and I was like, what?
Speaker B:What do you mean?
Speaker B:And he was like, how do you come down from, you know, being up there?
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, I don't go up there.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:I'm not on stage going, booyah.
Speaker B:These people are here for me, beating my chest.
Speaker B:I'm literally giving, singing for my supper, tap dance, trying to be the best instructor.
Speaker B:I am actually up there giving as much as I can.
Speaker B:I'm trying to be the best speaker in the room by giving the most amount of information.
Speaker B:I'm trying to be the most engaging, with the least amount of fluff and the most amount of personal power.
Speaker B:And I'm trying to set your path by telling you about my path.
Speaker B:And when I realized that, I was like, I don't get up there and get the big ego buzz and then get off stage.
Speaker B:I walk off stage like most people do.
Speaker B:I look at the person who owns the conference or the event, and I say, was that good?
Speaker B:Are you happy with that?
Speaker B:You know, did I do a good job?
Speaker B:And I still do it.
Speaker B:I still don't go up, and I still don't need to come down.
Speaker B:So I don't care what anybody says.
Speaker B:There is no up.
Speaker B:You know, it's just energy, and you're up there giving.
Speaker B:So the more you give, the more they love it, and the more they invite you back to be on the stage.
Speaker B:That's really important.
Speaker A:I think Speak is one of those workshops that, from what I've heard, and I've heard you speak about it, and I talked to Jessica Malone and Darina and all these wonderful people that were students in this class and got so much from it.
Speaker A:I feel like it's almost one of those things that every business owner should look into.
Speaker A:And I'm not sitting here trying to sell your course.
Speaker A:I'm just saying at the beginning, we're always trying to figure out how to talk to people.
Speaker A:And being able to get up on stage and get rid of those nerves can give you a lot more power.
Speaker A:Do you find that your students were finding it easier to approach everything once they built a little bit of that confidence?
Speaker A:Hey, I can do this on stage.
Speaker A:I can do anything.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What happened to me was I realized that what stopped you from putting reels out there?
Speaker B:Like, if you ask somebody what's stopping you from filming reels, it's either going to be, I don't like how I look.
Speaker B:So I'm struggling to film my own content.
Speaker B:I don't like how I sound.
Speaker B:I don't know what to say.
Speaker B:It's those three things.
Speaker B:And for me, the first part of this big workshop is marketing reels.
Speaker B:If you're not showing up as the voice of your business, then you've got a major problem.
Speaker B:So if you only do that workshop just to do your marketing reels, the second one would be networking events.
Speaker B:The first opportunity you get is not only to build business relationships, is to actually get up and speak for your business at a networking event.
Speaker B:And that will significantly change everything about your business.
Speaker B:If you coach or create content for people, you want to be at the front of the room at a networking event, because everybody sitting in front of you are now potentially people you can coach and help in business.
Speaker B:But more than that, just the business to business relationships that you build, you can't do that unless you put yourself out there as a speaker.
Speaker B:And if you think about those two things, marketing reels and networking, how important they are for the first steps of growing your business, then clearly we all need to start speaking.
Speaker B:I think we exist in with stills, and photographers especially love stills because that's what we're brilliant at.
Speaker B:And we have the extra, extra ability to Photoshop them so we can take our images to a very high level.
Speaker B:And these stills existed on Instagram as a photo sharing app.
Speaker B:And we all built businesses and Instagrams and then all of a sudden it went to video and all the stills, video.
Speaker B:All the stills photographers are like, what?
Speaker B:And a lot of photographers can't show what they do because the process of what they do and the finished product is so significantly different.
Speaker B:But recently, one of my friends, who's got three small kids, they book, they live in Colorado, and they booked a family photographer.
Speaker B:She told me this after they did it, and she was like, so we booked a family Photographer and we were gonna go to this place and do shop, and the shots are beautiful, and we bought them for the wall.
Speaker B:But this photographer filmed a BTS video of us doing the shoot.
Speaker B:And she was like, I can't stop watching it.
Speaker B:I post it.
Speaker B:I'm obsessed with it.
Speaker B:And I was like, how crazy.
Speaker B:We are still creators, but the video aspect of what we do is making us speakers, connectors and videographers.
Speaker B:And I think this is really, really important because stills will always have their place.
Speaker B:But now marketing is about video.
Speaker B:So the showing up to talk for your brand has to be the most important thing that you can do.
Speaker B:Everything after those two things, marketing and networking are simply building more products.
Speaker B:Like, you can host a podcast, you can host a YouTube channel, you can host live events, you can do workshops, masterclasses.
Speaker B:You can be an instructor and teach craft.
Speaker B:You can do.
Speaker B:What else have I got?
Speaker B:Build a platform, build a community, create, do keynote speaking.
Speaker B:Like, there are so many ways to speak and they just bring you to a bigger audience.
Speaker B:But those first two will change your business.
Speaker B:And if you're struggling to do that, I can imagine that you're probably struggling to get bookings and follows right now because you're not putting yourself out there in a video space.
Speaker A:It's true.
Speaker A:I've been.
Speaker A:Been doing video for years, and people ask me all the time, how do you.
Speaker A:How do you do it?
Speaker A:How do you film reels?
Speaker A:How do you get started?
Speaker A:And I'm like, step back for a second.
Speaker A:Look at the fact that on Tick tock, someone with 3 million views filmed it in the front seat of their car just talking to their.
Speaker B:Holding their phone.
Speaker A:Holding their phone.
Speaker B:I'm like, it does not have to be a production anymore.
Speaker B:People want more authentic engagement.
Speaker B:If anything, I would say, do this.
Speaker B:Go onto Instagram and it doesn't take you long.
Speaker B:You can even search for, you know, marketing creators.
Speaker B:But go online and there's all these posts as this is B roll.
Speaker B:And you know, there's a picture of a girl just looking out a window going.
Speaker B:And the text is written over the top of her.
Speaker B:And then the second one is there's somebody doing dishes and there's a carousel.
Speaker B:And there's about 12 different ways to show up in a real.
Speaker B:Like, you don't have to speak to camera.
Speaker B:Like, you don't.
Speaker B:Doesn't have to be a talking head.
Speaker B:Selfie, talking head.
Speaker B:But work out what all of them are and then go, oh, I can see myself doing this.
Speaker B:I can definitely do the.
Speaker B:The background reel with Text in the front and start doing what makes you feel comfortable until you're pushing into speaking directly to camera.
Speaker B:You know, it was so stupid.
Speaker B:I've always manufactured my videos because I have a studio.
Speaker B:Like I have a, a setup.
Speaker B:Like I can just turn it on and here I am in 4k.
Speaker B:But when I grabbed my camera once, I came out of yoga at six in the morning and I was bright red.
Speaker B:It was the first time I've ever gotten to a 5am yoga class.
Speaker B:So I just recorded myself talking about that like for two minutes.
Speaker B:I got so many personal messages.
Speaker B:But weirdly, like a year later, somebody said to me, oh, you're so brave.
Speaker B:I said, brave?
Speaker B:Nobody's even called me brave before.
Speaker B:I said brave and say, yeah, you just put yourself out there with no makeup on after.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I was like, but like, that's literally how I walk around in life.
Speaker B:That wasn't just after yoga.
Speaker B:It's pretty much looked like that for the rest of the day.
Speaker B:And I was just, I thought about it afterwards and I thought, oh, yeah, people really connect to you being real.
Speaker B:They really connect to you being truthful and honest about what you're doing.
Speaker B:And some reason talking to camera like that takes away the production and the fakeness.
Speaker B:And even hair and makeup can make it just, you know, it's so crazy how we're connecting, but if it's connecting, do it.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's the big thing.
Speaker A:Speaking of connection, I hear you talk about your husband a lot.
Speaker A:And over the years, you know, as you've publicized a little bit more and more your love for him.
Speaker A:And it's obvious you guys have a very strong relationship.
Speaker A:I hear the adoration in your voice.
Speaker A:I hear the love in your voice.
Speaker A:I also know the you before your husband and is there a version of you or what would you tell the version of you that was so obsessed with career before that they were kind of pushing love away?
Speaker A:Now that you found that love.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:What would you, what would you tell that person?
Speaker B:Yeah, he.
Speaker B:He changed my personal life and that was something that I, I don't take for granted.
Speaker B:He definitely changed my personal, personal life.
Speaker B:I was definitely cut off.
Speaker B:I avoided it because it wasn't an area that was very good in my life and I couldn't do it well, Matt.
Speaker B:So when I don't do things well, I don't do them.
Speaker B:I was not good at having long term relationships and stuff.
Speaker B:I just didn't want to be with anybody that required me to give them all of my time and attention.
Speaker B:When I had so many other things that I wanted to do and I didn't love myself, right?
Speaker B:So they say, when you're single, go and write a list of all the things that you want in a perfect partner.
Speaker B:And I did this.
Speaker B:And then one day I was talking to this very wise woman and she said to me, this older woman, and she said to me, read me the list.
Speaker B:So I read the list to her and she was like, that's a beautiful list about you.
Speaker B:And I was like, what?
Speaker B:This is the perfect partner.
Speaker B:And she was like, no, that is a list of your qualities.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh.
Speaker B:And she was like, and now you've listed your qualities.
Speaker B:That's what you look for in somebody else.
Speaker B:And I was like, ah.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:So I started to do this thing where we started dating and he was not in.
Speaker B:I could tell he was not all in.
Speaker B:And I started to get a little.
Speaker B:If he's avoidant in love, then I was definitely anxious attachment.
Speaker B:And I started to try really hard to make the relationship work.
Speaker B:And I realized I was just pushing it away.
Speaker B:And I started to get frustrated in the first year.
Speaker B:And in my head I was like, this is not working.
Speaker B:This is not a.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:We're not connecting.
Speaker B:We were dating and everything looked good on the outside, but I could tell when we were, you know, starting to be alone that it was just like, ah.
Speaker B:It's like, this dude's not really into me.
Speaker B:And I started to think it was all my fault and of course I'm not good enough.
Speaker B:And that's what he went through first.
Speaker B:And then all of a sudden, I just realized, like, I walked into the kitchen, he was in the lounge, and I was like, do you want some water?
Speaker B:And he said like, no.
Speaker B:Like that in a way that was almost like, you're annoying me or you're not my mother.
Speaker B:It was the way he said no.
Speaker B:And I remembered thinking, well, we were watching a movie, I got up to get a drink of water.
Speaker B:It would just be natural for me to ask, you want water?
Speaker B:Like, I don't know why this happened this way.
Speaker B:It just.
Speaker B:He said it in a way that made me feel like a doormat.
Speaker B:And he was like, no, like, you're being a doormat.
Speaker B:Stop.
Speaker B:And we had a conversation about something completely different.
Speaker B:And he told me to be the hot girl in this situation and to Being the hot girl does not mean work on your hot self.
Speaker B:It means if I loved who I was and I had full confidence, would I accept this situation.
Speaker B:And when he said it to Me, I was like, oh, I'm not being the hot girl in our relationship.
Speaker B:I'm making it all about you and trying to make, like, you happy.
Speaker B:And I'm not doing anything for me.
Speaker B:So I just.
Speaker B:I didn't say anything to him.
Speaker B:I thought, I've got one shot at making this relationship work.
Speaker B:And I stopped doing anything for him, and I started doing everything for myself.
Speaker B:I went and, you know, I'd work out and I would be like, hey, I'm going for a walk for an hour.
Speaker B:And he'd be like, oh, oh, oh, okay.
Speaker B:And I would just go and do my things.
Speaker B:And I didn't ask for, like, time or anything.
Speaker B:I just put myself first.
Speaker B:I made myself a snack if I wanted one and didn't.
Speaker B:Do you want a snack or do you want water?
Speaker B:And when he would get up, I would say, oh, I'm thirsty.
Speaker B:And I'd make him get me water.
Speaker B:Which, by the way, he started to love doing.
Speaker B:And I realized I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm not being my true self in this relationship.
Speaker B:I was trying to be this watered down version of me trying to make him happy.
Speaker B:But I wasn't really working on myself.
Speaker B:So for six months, I did nothing but work on myself.
Speaker B:I just worked on my what I want, my balance, my body.
Speaker B:I caught up with the friends.
Speaker B:I went away for weekends.
Speaker B:And I didn't focus on this relationship being like the be all and end all.
Speaker B:And he started following me around.
Speaker B:And then he asked me to marry him.
Speaker B:So I figured that it was.
Speaker B:I was not being my true beautiful self in this relationship.
Speaker B:And he was not 100% committed to me.
Speaker B:And I could feel it.
Speaker B:I say to people, I didn't like the way I saw love reflected back in his eyes.
Speaker B:When I started to love myself more and care for myself more and prioritize myself more, I saw love reflected back at me.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, you love me?
Speaker B:And I was like, and it's because I love me now.
Speaker B:I'd always really, really didn't work that out.
Speaker B:And it was so bizarre.
Speaker B:When I thought we were gonna break up, he ended up proposing to me.
Speaker B:And we've talked about all of that.
Speaker B:And, you know, I obviously share.
Speaker B:I'm an oversharer.
Speaker B:So, you know, he knows that I've said that.
Speaker B:Cause I've been doing broadcasts where I've said things like that.
Speaker B:And I've looked over and my husband is literally in the room going, did she just tell everybody that?
Speaker B:But I did.
Speaker B:And that was it.
Speaker B:I Was like, oh, my gosh, I was not loving myself.
Speaker B:And I was trying to give everything to him like a little doormat.
Speaker B:And I'm sure that was really repelling, especially when I'm such a ball breaker in my daily life, to be so anxious in my love relationship.
Speaker B:I also asked for something from my husband right from the beginning.
Speaker B:I said, my husband has a lot of friends, like, a lot.
Speaker B:He's a people gatherer, and we have big parties and a lot of people in our guest house all the time.
Speaker B:My husband is just the person that attracts people.
Speaker B:So I said to him, you can go away for as many boys weekends as you want, but you just need to make me feel safe.
Speaker B:And he looked at me right in the beginning and he was like, how do I make you feel safe?
Speaker B:And we talked about what makes me feel safe as a woman, as a wife.
Speaker B:And he has done nothing but make me feel safe since the day we met.
Speaker B:And even his friends say, you know, you've got a pretty long run, dude.
Speaker B:You can do a lot of what you want.
Speaker B:And he says, we don't have kids.
Speaker B:So if they have kids, then obviously there's a reason they can't quite go as far as my husband does.
Speaker B:But he always looks at his friends, and I've heard him say it, and he, do you know how to make her feel safe?
Speaker B:Gives me goosebumps all over my body.
Speaker B:We all have a different way of feeling safe in a relationship.
Speaker B:I need point of contact.
Speaker B:I want to know that, you know, I just want to feel safe.
Speaker B:And he now knows how to do that.
Speaker B:And I've heard him translate that to his friends.
Speaker B:And I'm like, yes, women need to feel safe.
Speaker B:And I guess men do, too.
Speaker B:They want to feel safe in the relationship.
Speaker B:They want to feel that they're not getting cheated on, that they're being honored and loved.
Speaker B:And that is a safe feeling.
Speaker B:So I got that from him right from the beginning.
Speaker B:So falling in love with myself and prioritizing myself helped us meet in the middle and then feeling safe, both of us making each other feel safe.
Speaker B:I have a strong relationship because of it, and I really, really love that.
Speaker A:It's an amazing conversation to have to actually dig in to the things that you need rather than just assuming that your partner is going to understand or you're making guesses as to what they need.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Being able to actually have that honest conversation.
Speaker A:I don't think many people do that.
Speaker B:I brought to the table the Three Wounds by Mario Martinez.
Speaker B:I said to him, we Carry three wounds.
Speaker B:And if you read Mario Martinez's book, it's so incredible because he says it very clearly.
Speaker B:There are three social wounds that our social curators and the social construct around us gave us as children.
Speaker B:And he said, there's not more.
Speaker B:And when you really break it down, it's like we carry one or more of these wounds.
Speaker B:The first one is abandonment.
Speaker B:If you were emotionally abandoned by a parent, you will grow up with a feeling of abandonment that people will leave me and I'm not good enough or they'll leave me.
Speaker B:And people who have abandonment will abandon people before they get abandoned, because we do the wound to other people before they do it to us.
Speaker B:Betrayal.
Speaker B:If you had a parent that betrayed another parent, or you'd been betrayed, you know, in a relationship or by a narcissist, betrayal will be a big wound for you.
Speaker B:And you will not trust.
Speaker B:You will not trust in love, and you will not believe that other people will not betray you because you believe everyone will betray you.
Speaker B:And the third one is shame.
Speaker B:We grow up with shame of not being good enough or the shame of, you know, I'm a bad person, or the shame of not being good enough.
Speaker B:And when I bought these to his table, I was like, right, let's break it down from childhood.
Speaker B:Like, if your parents got divorced, there's abandonment.
Speaker B:Like, if there was some trouble in the home, there was shame.
Speaker B:And right from the beginning, I sort of went, this is how we carry wounds from young life into our relationships.
Speaker B:And then we set this goal that whenever somebody gets triggered by something that the other has said, we ask, how did you hear that?
Speaker B:Not, I know what I said, and I know what I meant when I said it, but how did you hear it?
Speaker B:Through what filter of your past did you hear this?
Speaker B:And now my husband can just go straight back to.
Speaker B:Because I didn't like this when I was a kid.
Speaker B:And that made me realize that that triggered me.
Speaker B:Like, we both do it, and it's just changed the way we interact because we realize we're both hear things through a filter of our own past.
Speaker B:And I'm never going to intentionally hurt this man.
Speaker B:He's never going to intentionally hurt me.
Speaker B:So I have to ask, like, I have to constantly go, like, I didn't like it when you said that because it triggered me this way.
Speaker B:And now we kind of got to the point now we don't really trigger each other anymore, because that's in the early part of your relationship where you learn all your triggers and you learn all your pasts and it makes a big difference.
Speaker B:So bringing those wounds to the table was like, this comes from one of those wounds.
Speaker B:You either feel betrayed, you feel shame, or you feel abandonment.
Speaker B:So I was like, okay, let's address that, and let's look at the filter in which we grew up.
Speaker B:And let's listen to the filter in which we hear things, how we hear things.
Speaker B:And it's like, there's no more than that.
Speaker B:Always turn towards bids for connection.
Speaker B:We both connect in different ways, right?
Speaker B:I'm definitely going to be touch, and he's definitely gonna be quality time.
Speaker B:So if he asks me for time, that's his love language.
Speaker B:That is a bid for connection.
Speaker B:Turn towards all bids of connection.
Speaker B:And if you are not bidding for connection, that means you're not asking for what you need.
Speaker B:So I was like, when he wants to spend time with me, I'll make the time.
Speaker B:Cause this is his love language.
Speaker B:When I want to be touched, I back up to him and he will rub my shoulders, he'll rub my back.
Speaker B:But I used to sit at the other end of the couch and wish he would rub my back instead of bidding for the connection myself and actually going, rub my back, babe.
Speaker B:And we're in equal exchange.
Speaker B:Because you can tell when one of us is out of balance because the other one doesn't want to give what the other's asking for.
Speaker B:And that's always, you know, you can't withhold love, so turn towards it.
Speaker A:You talk about the things that we carry from childhood, and it just got me thinking.
Speaker A:Your life has changed a lot since New Zealand, right?
Speaker A:Growing up poor, trying to figure out life, having this great family, but just not knowing what life has in store.
Speaker A:Things have changed drastically for you in those versions of you.
Speaker A:Is there one that you miss the anonymity, or, you know, you just long for home?
Speaker A:Or have you come to peace with everything, with all of this growth?
Speaker A:What's changed and do you grieve a version of yourself from years ago?
Speaker B:So I grew up with a family of artists, and to be able to curate content at home and make money from it is the ultimate goal.
Speaker B:Cause we're artists.
Speaker B:That's what we do.
Speaker B:We're all creators.
Speaker B:All of my family are creators.
Speaker B:We all build and create things.
Speaker B:The difference being as I learned how to value what I created and ask for money and equal exchange from it.
Speaker B:I don't think I'm a lot different than how I grew up.
Speaker B:I just have income and I would have been a very happy poor artist.
Speaker B:Because what does there do other than be happy when you're creating every day.
Speaker B:And as long as I had food on the table and a strong family unit, like, I don't look at my childhood and go, oh, that was bad.
Speaker B:I grew up.
Speaker B:We grew up barefoot artists like my parents were.
Speaker B:You know, I always say I was raised by wolves, but truly I was raised by an artist and a musician.
Speaker B:And that's really all they were.
Speaker B:They never wanted a lot of money because they never needed it to be happy.
Speaker B:They were just the happiest people they've ever met.
Speaker B:But we did struggle.
Speaker B:We struggled month to month, and we didn't have a lot.
Speaker B:But it's like the artist mentality for me is more important than anything else.
Speaker B:I'm just an artist that gets paid, and I have a nicer house than my parents had, and that's it.
Speaker B:I don't really see much difference.
Speaker A:It's amazing because it kind of brings us full circle from the beginning of the conversation where we were, you know, talking about the versions of ourselves, how we get to know each other, get to know ourselves, the self awareness, the self value, the self love, as we start to try to land this plane.
Speaker A:Because I could.
Speaker A:I could just sit here and pep here with questions for the next six or seven hours, but knowing that there's.
Speaker A:There's stuff to do.
Speaker A:What does legacy look like for you?
Speaker A:Not photographically, but in the way that you make people feel.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:We've talked a lot about our impact on other people.
Speaker A:What do you see as the legacy that you want to leave and how you make people feel?
Speaker B:I want people to be financially secure.
Speaker B:I want people to find their value so they can be financially secure.
Speaker B:I want people to understand that if you work on yourself, that your life gets better.
Speaker B:You don't work on your life, you work on yourself.
Speaker B:I would like to know that, like, freeing people financially, like teaching people how to be in business, is exhilarating because it was exhilarating for me to learn and to learn how to make money, and learned that that wasn't something that was denied to me for any reason.
Speaker B:It was just something I had to learn, just like any other skill in my business.
Speaker B:So that, to me, is one of the most powerful things I teach, is monetizing people and especially monetizing people creatively.
Speaker B:But I would say helping people to bring all of their focus back to themselves first, that would be the greatest gift that I could give anybody.
Speaker B:Like, what do you want?
Speaker B:And really sit with that question, what do you want?
Speaker B:And when you first do It.
Speaker B:I know this because I've asked so many thousands of people this question.
Speaker B:I'd say, what do you want?
Speaker B:What do you want?
Speaker B:And they would go, I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:And I'd just be, like, so frustrated.
Speaker B:So, so frustrated.
Speaker B:And then I realized I was saying it wrong.
Speaker B:I'm supposed to say, what do you want?
Speaker B:Because we all know what everyone wants from us around the world.
Speaker B:What do you want?
Speaker B:Like, are you doing what you want?
Speaker B:And when you sit down and say, is this what you want?
Speaker B:Is this the business you signed up for?
Speaker B:Is this the marriage you signed up for?
Speaker B:Is this the house that you wanted?
Speaker B:Is this.
Speaker B:All of a sudden you realize, like, I don't want this, or I don't want that, and I don't want that, this.
Speaker B:And why am I living with things that I don't want?
Speaker B:And then we feel trapped and we feel stuck.
Speaker B:And that's not true.
Speaker B:So if anything, it would be that you're worth more.
Speaker B:And I think if there was a legacy quote about me, it would be, you have to see yourself as more in order to ask for more so that you can step up and receive more.
Speaker B:And if you're not getting more in life, you're not focused on what you want, and you don't believe you're worth it.
Speaker B:And that would be everything that I could teach in business, in life, as a creator, as an artist, as a human, because it really came down to, what do I want out of this life?
Speaker B:And I'm not being held back by my lack of education.
Speaker B:I'm not being held back by my birthright or my lack of.
Speaker B:Or my ethnicity or anything like that.
Speaker B:It really comes down to what I want.
Speaker B:I mean, I might have more challenges because of all those things.
Speaker B:Things.
Speaker B:But we don't ask ourselves what we truly want.
Speaker B:And when you do, you're going to be really surprised that it's not what you're getting right now.
Speaker B:And that's because you're not focused on what you want.
Speaker B:You're focused on what you don't have.
Speaker B:And if you focus on what you don't have, you're going to attract more of it.
Speaker A:It was a game changer to hear that inflection.
Speaker A:When you asked me, what do you want?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, I'll give you the answer that I think I'm supposed to give you.
Speaker A:And then you said, and that's bullshit.
Speaker A:What do you want?
Speaker A:And that changed everything for me, because it really.
Speaker A:Does simple questions like that help you Reframe everything in your life.
Speaker A:It helps you when you say what you want.
Speaker B:If you stood.
Speaker B:If you've ever had somebody stand in front of you and say, what do you want?
Speaker B:What they're really saying is, tell me.
Speaker B:Tell me what you want from me.
Speaker A:Me.
Speaker B:They're not saying, what do you want?
Speaker B:They're saying, what do you want?
Speaker B:Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you right now.
Speaker B:And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker B:I think especially women, we tend to do this thing where we don't consider what we want.
Speaker B:We consider what we're doing for everybody else.
Speaker B:And if everybody else wants it, then it's wanted.
Speaker B:But it's not what I want.
Speaker B:It's not how I want to do things.
Speaker B:It's not how I want to live.
Speaker B:It's not how I want to make money.
Speaker B:And I didn't realize how much we got lost in that.
Speaker B:So I don't believe many people can really tell you what they want until they sit down and do that work and start with that list.
Speaker B:I do it all the time.
Speaker B:Start with what you don't want anymore.
Speaker B:Cause we all know what we don't want anymore.
Speaker B:And when you look at the list of what you don't want anymore, you'll realize how much you focus on that, and that's why you're getting more of it.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:And then start to write the list of what I really want.
Speaker B:And then every single day, just walk towards that.
Speaker B:And the fastest way to write an I want list is, you know, is to feel envy for somebody else and say, what have they got?
Speaker B:Do I want that?
Speaker B:And, oh, that triggers you.
Speaker B:You'll realize how often you don't live in alignment with what you truly want and your heart's desire.
Speaker B:Because you'll be astute, stupid thought there, like, I can't make money this way.
Speaker B:I can't do that because my mum's voice pops up and says, why would you do that?
Speaker B:Like, get a real job, whatever it is for you that's gonna come up.
Speaker B:And the truth is, is that's what you're actually dealing with.
Speaker B:That hurdle is the belief around not having what you want.
Speaker B:You know, if you create an I want list and you don't take action on it, that's just living a dream.
Speaker B:That's living somebody else's dream.
Speaker B:I want that, but I'm not walking towards that.
Speaker B:I'm living somebody else's dream.
Speaker B:And I can't have my own dreams.
Speaker A:Gets more negativity and Self loathing and you just feel bad about yourself and it's just.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And you attract more of what you don't want.
Speaker A:It's like press field in the war of art in that big R.
Speaker A:Resistance.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Resistance is always there.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You can either just kind of let it control you or not.
Speaker B:And yeah.
Speaker A:Asking that question, what do you want?
Speaker A:I think is, is.
Speaker A:Is such a great place to kind of wrap this up because I want to leave everybody with that.
Speaker A:Everybody that I know that has worked with you on this aspect.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Not the photography, but more the self value and asking what you want, where, where's your alignment?
Speaker A:We all came away with the same thing, which is, oh, shit.
Speaker A:I never asked myself that question.
Speaker A:I never really stopped and considered it.
Speaker A:There have always been goals.
Speaker A:There have always been kind of this North Star that I'm guiding towards, but it's never really real until you start to ask yourself, what do I want?
Speaker A:Not do I want to give other people what do I need them to get from me?
Speaker A:It's what do I.
Speaker B:And you feel it.
Speaker B:This is not a thought.
Speaker B:This is a feeling.
Speaker B:When you really answer the I want, it's very palpable and you can feel the feeling when you think of it.
Speaker B:So don't just write a list, like feel the list.
Speaker B:List as you're really writing down what you want.
Speaker B:And you might be very surprised at some of the things that you write down.
Speaker B:Also what we're looking for is that I want this, but I can't.
Speaker B:Because as soon as you give me your can't because I can tell you how to move forward.
Speaker B:Because that is a belief or a boundary.
Speaker B:And those two things, you either have a belief that you can't have it or there's a boundary you need to set in order to get it.
Speaker B:And you can't set that boundary.
Speaker B:So it's always a belief or a boundary.
Speaker B:But as soon as you tell me, I can't because that's the secret sauce.
Speaker A:When we say, what is it that you want?
Speaker A:Years ago, I remember before I even knew you, I had started watching you online.
Speaker A:I said, someday I'm going to meet this woman and someday I'm going to be a peer to this woman.
Speaker A:And here I am with you on a podcast and it's just a big full circle moment.
Speaker A:It just feels great.
Speaker A:Feels great.
Speaker A:Thank you for spending so much time with me here.
Speaker A:I really, really appreciate everybody.
Speaker B:You're welcome.
Speaker B:You're welcome, mate.
Speaker B:You are one of my favorites.
Speaker A:You're sweet.
Speaker A:I think everybody should check out superice.com content creator speak all the self value work.
Speaker A:All of this can be found and launched from subrice.
Speaker A:Com, right?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Is that where you're driving?
Speaker B:Sure thing.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:I will talk to you soon.
Speaker A:Hang on here for one minute.
Speaker A:I can't wait to see.
Speaker A:I'll be out in Arizona soon so I'm sure I'll catch up with you there.
Speaker B:Yay cowboy.
Speaker A:Thanks.
